Finding Myself [Fen]

[Star]

Kai, went into the Mirror Petal forest. It was quite an amazing place, his uncles had shown him how to get around the place. He sighed and sat down, staring at a pond. He was confused about himself at the moment. He, liked the females, but never really wanted to settle down, since he was learning that females were truly not important. But, Kai has also been attracted to males lately. "What is wrong with me?" he snarled at himself, staring at his reflection in the pond.

His hazel eyes, were inherited from his father. And, his beautiful black coat he got from his mother. Kai looked away from the pond, he shook his head. The, young teen was having problems personal problems. Problems about his sexuality. Kai got to his feet and walked through the forest. Oh, the many troubles for a young teen. This was the age when he had to find himself.

[Rivaxorus]

Fin, as many called him, or Fen, walked among the tree's in a civil and merry manner. As had he for a long time, well, not too long. He had only lived three years in his life time, and would be able to live longer. The air master may have been a young monk, but he also was the adopted son of the missing air god. For now a year his foster father had been missing along with the others. But, the cruel fate of this world didn't make Fin stop from living. For the truth he knew, was different from the one's that the others knew, a secret, a secret of despair and among other things.

His strange white and blue fur stood out, not to mention the collection of stripes across his hind quarters. The two earing pieces in his left ear. Also how his hair covered his right eye. All of it, but he was still proud. Even of the feather stuck into his chest fur. "Best be careful in the caves, it's easy to get lost you know." Fin said, he was right behind the wolf, as if he had appeared out of nowhere. He smiled and tilted his head.

[Star]

The young caliph flicked his tail irritably. Kai was quite young and still had many more to see and do. He wouldn't ever think of leaving his pack though and that's final. His, ears perked at the sudden sound of a voice behind him. Kai, turned his head and saw the small figure of a rather unique looking male wolf. The male before him, was smiling and had his head tilted.

"I know my way around the caves pretty well." Kai voiced out to the male. His tail flicked slightly. Kai's grandfather was the God of darkness. Now, Kai wanted to meet his grandfather but he knew it wasn't possible. All, the gods vanished. He looked at the small male with his hazel eyes.

Kai, placed his rump on the ground. His right ear flicking slightly.

[Rivaxorus]

Fin looked at the wolf, he seemed troubled for some reason, but that didn't change the air's composure. He never frowned, or at least, no one ever really saw him do so. He wasn't ever sad, for he felt an eternal pain knowing that all these wolves were living a lie. Accepting his fate of a generations long secret had been his life journey, and it still was. As much as he'd like to talk once more with his foster father, the air god was no more. The skies were silent, for him at least. As he flicked his tail.

"Well that's good then, say, aren't you a part of Erebus, I can tell from your scent" Fin tapped the tip of his nose. Fin had memorized all the packs scents now. He had never stayed in one place for long, but he always came back. Regardless of views, a monk swore their life to secrecy, it was nearly impossible for a normal life.

[Star]

Kai, tried to forget about his troubles. At least for now his his eyes traced over the form of the unique-looking wolf. "Oh come on stop stop stop." he repeatedly thought, telling himself over and over in his thoughts. Kai's uncles were rubbing off of him for once as he was becoming a little more sinister and a bit more cruel and sneaky. His eyes looked away from Fen, he looked down. Kai, looked up "Uh yeah I am the Caliph or the Second command." he responded. Kai, smiled lightly at the male, trying to brush off the slight attraction he had towards him the seconds before. Hopefully, the male hadn't noticed. He, didn't want to be thought of as strange. "What's your name? i'm Kai." he said, his hazel eyes looking at the male. One could say that Kai had the best rank in the world next to the Kings but really it was rather hard. But, Kai knew that came with the rank and that's why he deserved it.


Kai, awaited for the wolf's answer, he scratched his neck and placed his leg on the ground. Uncle Alec and Deimos were the two wolves that he looked up to and that wouldn't change anytime soon. He, was born after the gods vanished so he had no contact of his grandfather. Kai had a very normal life except being born in a pack with there were only two leaders, were males and females were the lower gender.

[Rivaxorus]

Fin looked at Kai. They were the same age then right? At least he looked and smelled young. He was rather good looking at well. Fin had heard the kingdom's heritage was rather esteem of good looks. In which they only chose the most esteemed females to mate with even if they were perseeved useless. Fin himself had no objections to any type of culture. He knew the cruel fate of the world, even if others were to hate him for it. Though Fin had never found an attraction to stay in one place at all. There had been no one to understand him, no one had loved him either, despite his interest in both men and women. Nobody had even crushed or fallen in love with him, because of his up beat personality, which was generally just to cover up the searing pain that had built up over the past months within his heart and soul.

"I'm Fenrir, but you can call me Fin, or Fen, either one works. I'm a monk." There was a slight difference between monks and loners. But monks seemed to be in the very few these days. Monks were permitted into pack territories on the invitation of the alpha's or leaders. For after all, Fin himself, did not judge upon many things. He had been invited into many ruthless packs, mainly to take on confessions though.

[Star]

Kai looked into the small male's eyes. They were a vibrant blue. Kai just wanted to please his uncles but also had to get on with the pack rules. Kai, listened to the small male tell him his name. "Well I guess i'll call you Fen." he responded. So Fen was a monk, quite interesting. He, could be an air wolf then most air wolves Kai knew were monks well, the monks he had met anyway.

"I'm Kai by the way." he told Fen. "So are you like an air wolf or something?" Kai asked, Fen curiosity growing. Kai was a fire wolf, which meant he did fire spells he sometimes used too much of his energy though which he had to work on. He stretched lightly and glanced at the small frame of Fen.

At the point in his life Kai wasn't sure what gender he was interested in. Kai, was flustered really bad. His hazel eyes looked back at Fen of course all the females adored him who wouldn't? all the females loved him and his uncles. Kai, was known to work his charm on the girls but he often ordered the girls to get him things at his pack. Kai, was understanding that he needed to be firm and not soft. Kai blinked and took a look at Fen and sat down.

[Rivaxorus]

'Kai'. The name rang in his ears. Exactly like a fire, he knew for a fact erebus took highly of fire males, so Kai being a high rank by the looks of it, was probably a fire wolf. Fin had very high detective skills if any, it came with his small size, and nimble body. As he asked him about being an air wolf or something he smiled. "Not, like an air wolf, I am one, and I was trained directly by the master himself, the god of air, who happened to be my foster father." Fin was no demi-god, but he was raised like one. Though he had never been to the heavens, nor would he be permitted entry until his days gone. In the end, Fin's real personality, his true one. Would probably be much like that of Erebus' mentality, to an extent of his tolerance that was. Maybe he was making others fall for him?

[Star]

Kai had not yet fathered a litter of pups yet. He wished to though, but if his attractions to males grew more and more he would only mate with females in the breeding season. Kai listened as Fen told him he was an air wolf and his foster father was the god of air. Kai nodded lightly Kai had heard of his grandfather but he never truly knew him because he was born after his grandfather vanished. Kai shifted his paws "Yeah, my grandfather is the god of Darkness." Kai voiced out onto Fen. His left ear twitched lightly and stood up. "So what's it like being a monk?" he asked. Kai had been a pack wolf all his life so he never experienced being on his own. Tail pointed downwards, and looked back at Fen

[Rivaxorus]

Fin looked to the side slightly. Somehow, he felt as if he didn't have to be happy and chipper around this wolf. "Well, it's definitely different then pack life, or loners life. I guess it's more of a burden then most wolves can handle." Fin wasn't boasting, he was just stating the truth. It didn't mean he didn't enjoy being a monk, he loved speaking with the animals in their tongue, learning about so much, and that he could move as he pleased. Fin's pierced ear flicked as he looked over at Kai. He seemed slightly unsettled.

"What about you, you're second in command in a pack that is sexist?" Fin wasn't asking as if it was wrong. He was just curious as how it felt. They were sexist, but didn't mean they thought that the word in general was wrong. Fin, he didn't see what the problem was, different wolves were raised on different terms. Fin himself, was like the center, and could go in any direction, but if he did, he would break his ties, and never be able to become the center again.

[Star]

Kai sighed deeply. He pondered on what to say. "Well I guess being in a pack that's sexist can be a bit I don't know.........annoying at times and frustrating. The females are just aren't treated right. But, at the same time I don't want to be thought of as soft whenever i'm nice to the girls." he replied. He sighed Kai, couldn't believe he was telling how he was feeling to a wolf he just met. But for some reason Kai felt at ease with Fen. Kai looked over at Fen. He looked at him Kai bit his lip. Kai felt that he didn't need to be someone he's not around this wolf. Kai licked his muzzle "But enoug-" Kai was cut off by a sharp prick to his paw. "Ow!." he yelped and looked down to see a little porcupine. It was provoked for some reason it walked away it's quills daunting as ever. "Stupid Porcupine." he mumbled. Unlike simple hedgehog quills Porcupine quills hurt a lot more. Kai winced, four quills were on his left paw. Kai, tried his best to look okay but it was clear it was not a comfortable position he was in.

His ears flicked around lightly. "I hate when that happens." he cringed through his teeth and lifted his paw.

[Rivaxorus]

Fin jumped as Kai was struck by the porcupine. Damn things, they were annoying as fire lizards. Fin inched over, and looked at the paw. They weren't too deeply embedded. As he pulled his own paws over Kai's he looked at him. "May I?" he asked in a gentle voice. Not that he was going to stop anyway. He looked over and spotted a small green plant, with purple petals. Fin grabbed some of the petals within his teeth and crushed them, the turquoise juice dropped onto Kai's paws. It should have seeped in and numbed his paw. It would probably have no feeling in it for a few minutes. As Fin waited, he placed his teeth firmly on one, and began to pluck them out. He was used to being a nurse, a monk knew many things, and being a healer just so happened to be one of them. As the quils lay on the ground Fin flicked his ears. "You should be fine now, but you won't be able to feel your paw for a little bit" Fin said as he looked at Kai. Something was strange, if anything intriguing about this male. And he wanted to know more.

[Star]

As Fen pulled his paws over Kai's he looked at Fen. "Sure." Kai answered. He watched as Fen grabbed a couple petals from a green plant with purple petals. Kai watched as Fen crushed the purple petals and the juice dropped onto his paw. His paw soon felt quite numb. He had no feeling at all in his paw. Then, Fen pulled out the quills one by one. "Alright." Kai replied to Fen. "And thanks." Kai said softly. Kai's paw felt funny at the moment, due to the healing in his paw. Kai got to his paws it felt odd walking at the moment. Kai saw a very rare Kluna huh it was quite rare you see them. They were really skittish animals. "Hey look a Kluna it's not every day you see one." he muttered out. It was black with white spots. It was chowing down on a hare. It looked relaxed but was also backing away slighly from the two wolves. Kai, knew not to get into the small cat's space so he remained with in comfortable space. Kai, flicked an ear. The animal laid down under a bush, eating the hare. Kai, looked away from the small animal they were beautiful creatures, really.

Kai wasn't a shy wolf and not normally too open to perfect strangers. But right now he felt strangely fine with Fin.

[Rivaxorus]

Fin watched as the kluna backed away, how he was tempted to go towards it, and he could if he had wanted to. He was a curious wolf, young, but yet so far along as an adult. As it relaxed under one of the sleeping willow's Fin flicked his ears. Turning to Kai. "Do you like Kluna's Kai?" He asked, as he went to approach the animal, lowering his ears, and his tail as he crouched down, in a submissive manner. The Kluna arched her back and hissed at him, and Fin made the same noises, in a cat like manner as it emptied out through his vocal cords. He was speaking with the kluna. As the kluna relaxed it padded over, and snuggled under Fin's paw pads.

"She was afraid we were going to steal her food." He laughed as she dragged her tail under his chest. Fin truely was an amazing wolf. He was different as you could say from most. As he tilted his head and laughed a little, with a flick of his ear. He liked Kai, not only as a friend, but he felt oddly attracted to him. But, since of his life style, nobody ever wanted to love him, regardless of their gender.

[Star]

Kai looked on as Fin approached the Kluna. "Yeah I do." he answered. It looked as thought Fin was speaking with the animal. Kai laughed as Fin told him why the Kluna was acting the way she was acting. "She must be very territorial then." Kai chuckled. He shook his ebony black fur. Kai liked Fen, but not only as a friend something more. Fen was interesting and he seemed like no other wolf. Kai smiled at Fen "So would you like to take a walk with me?" Kai asked calmly. He made it sound like it was a simple walk as best as he could but, instead whether or not he accepts or denies the fact he was oddly attracted to Fen. Kai, glanced at Fen, waiting for an answer. The Kluna mewed and nuzzled Fen.